Spending the Holidays with Aging Parents

Elder Care Expert Has the Prescription for Caregiver Stress

For many families, the problem with the holidays is family. Elder care expert Esther Koch provides insight into how caregivers of aging parents can bring the joy of the holiday season to the elder care experience.

San Mateo, CA (PRWEB) December 2, 2008 -- For many families the stress of the holiday season is family, especially aging parents. Gerontologist and elder care expert Esther Koch, founder of Encore Management, has a simple yet highly effective prescription for holiday stress relief….reframe the experience. "Use the holidays to change the focus from all that you have to do for your parent to all the experiences you can have with your parent", recommends Koch who also was the primary caregiver to her mother for ten years.

"Your holidays will be joyful if you intend them to be", says Koch. "You may have to start with forgiveness - forgive your parents, forgive your siblings and forgive yourself." She emphasizes, "A little forgiveness can eliminate years of regret."

Koch continues, "As a caregiver, you do need to recognize your parent's limits as well as your own." Adjust commitments whenever necessary for health reasons and don't forget to schedule time for yourself. "Most of all, be in the moment and don't take for granted that your parent will always be as physically and mentally able as they are now", she says.

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Medical society head sees gaps in elder care

Sonja Puzic, Windsor Star

Published: Wednesday, December 03, 2008

As a busy family physician, Dr. Nick Krayacich is all too familiar with the growing challenges facing our health care system.

His patient load of about 2,400 includes many elderly people battling chronic illnesses and adults whose health problems are compounded by job losses and the economic crisis.

Krayacich knows what the community needs -- more health care dollars from the government, better communication among local and provincial agencies and a collaborative, multidisciplinary approach to patient care. As the new president of the Essex County Medical Society, he's got several initiatives in mind.

"We are a very well-respected medical society in the province and one of the most active," said Krayacich, who will be formally installed as ECMS president tonight at the society's dinner gathering. "We need to be vocal and advocate for our membership."

One of the first items on Krayacich's agenda is putting together a medical advisory board to work with the Erie St. Clair Local Health Integration Network, which is responsible for allocating government funding for area health care facilities. The goal is to foster better communication with the LHIN, Krayacich said, "so that they can pick our brains before decisions are made and vice versa."

Krayacich said he will also focus his efforts on "connectedness and inclusion" within the medical community, making sure its members, especially those who were recruited from other parts of the country, feel welcome and get involved.

Krayacich said he is not worried about juggling his day-to-day schedule and new responsibilities as ECMS president. Having served on the medical society's executive, most recently as vice-president, Krayacich said he knows what to expect. He will replace outgoing president Dr. Anthony Glanz, chief of cardiology at Hotel-Dieu Grace Hospital.

Krayacich has been practising medicine in the Windsor area since the early 1990s. He treats many geriatric patients who struggle with various chronic conditions such as heart disease and diabetes. Caring for the aging and ailing population with stretched resources and a persistent shortage of family physicians is a complicated process across the province, Krayacich said.

"We definitely don't have enough nursing homes ... we don't have enough hospital beds," he said. "There are still 40 to 50 thousand people in the Windsor area who don't have a family doctor. We're definitely concerned about that."

Discussing Care Options With Elderly Parents

By Beth Macy

The bank didn’t call until her father tried to draw his third cashier’s check. If he simply sent $98,000 to cover the taxes on a prize he’d won — to a post office box in Canada — the lottery would send him $1 million.

Or so the scam went. Barbara McVi cker rushed to the bank, only to learn that her father had already sent away $68,000 of his life savings. Then came the FBI investigation.

Then, more drastically, what McVicker calls “The Talk.”

She had tried before to initiate the conversation with her elderly parents. But like many, they were reluctant to discuss such an uncomfortable and role-reversing subject.

The elephant was definitely in the room, and he needed some answers:

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Book Review - "My Mother, Your Mother"

'My Mother, Your Mother' speaks to many baby boomers who find themselves caring for their parents

Date published: 4/27/2008

THIS BOOK will literal- ly speak volumes to many baby boomers who find themselves helping aging parents through their late-life journey. Geriatrician Dr. Dennis McCullough recommends a new approach to elder care, "Slow Medicine," and his thoughtful observations bring a glimmer of hope to an often bleak scenario.

He focuses on the fastest growing group of elders, those over 80, and notes that there is a "looming tsunami of elder care needs."

McCullough laments the fast, often aggressive pace of American medicine, and points out the incongruity of a diagnosis-based, cure-focused approach to someone who is dying simply because they are old and at the end of their life. He points out the difference between disease and illness. He questions the unlimited use of tests and procedures for elders, and advocates a gentle approach that assesses the patient's mental state, remaining abilities, family situation and quality of life.

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Having "that talk" -- Sooner Rather than Later

January 26th, 2008

I picked up a recent post from a site called bloglongtermcare.com. The author addresses the often prickly subject of procrastination. Specifically — children waiting and avoiding discussion of what to do about aging parents who are becoming increasingly unable to live on their own.

A highly regarded book on just this subject is available from Amazon and many other online sources. It is called, The Parent Care Conversation. Read amazon customer reviews.